Tech's Importance To An Autistic 'Star Wars' Fan

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Representation matters is a phrase I’ve seen a lot in the Star Wars fandom and for good reason. The galaxy far, far away is so expansive and timeless that it’s hard not to imagine an enormous cast of diverse characters. And as a cishet white guy, I’ve usually thought of representation as important primarily to those without my straight flush of privileges. But The Crossing, the latest episode of The Bad Batch, is the moment where I realized that I’d also been waiting to be represented in my favorite franchise.

I’ve been self-diagnosed autistic for a few years now. My tendencies to overthink situations and overly criticize my every action didn’t truly start to develop until my late teenage years. And in terms of how much control I have over those impulses, it tends to operate in piques and valleys for me. There are days when I can put the distressing thoughts aside fairly easily, and there are days when I can barely do anything without stopping to blink or hold my breath a specific number of times once every few minutes. Though probably the most hindering aspects of being on the spectrum are my difficulties with gauging how other people are feeling, accidentally saying the wrong things at the wrong times, and feeling as though I haven’t properly processed something sad or angering. I didn’t think I would get to see those aspects of myself reflected in Tech.

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Last season of the series, Tech was a bit of an enigma, having little development outside of being the snarky, intelligent techie of the group. Though there were a few small moments here and there where I thought, “Huh. He seems like he’s on the spectrum.” But I didn’t think of that much beyond a nice headcanon. That was until this episode where Tech, failing to read social cues, asks Omega what her “issue” is regarding Echo leaving the team. This leads to a heart-to-heart moment between Omega and Tech which is easily one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. Wrongly believing that Tech is apathetic towards Echo’s departure, Tech explains to her that he simply processes his grief differently than the other clones. Respecting Echo’s choice and wanting to move forward, he does feel sad over Echo being gone despite not crying or displaying any other outward signs of missing him.

I’ve spent too much of my time wondering if I was ever sad or angry “enough” or if I was a horrible person because I didn’t cry or shout as much as I thought I should. I’ve found myself doubting my empathy despite the clear distress that I feel towards the pain and misfortune of others. I’ve spent a lot of my life wondering if there was something wrong with me because I processed my grief and anger in my own way. So seeing that Tech was still a caring person while experiencing emotions differently from everyone else was really nice to see.

“I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you do.”

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