‘Christmas In The Stars’: Star Wars Christmas Album
Image Source: YouTube
In 1980, one of the best non-canon entries into the Star Wars universe was released: Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album. It is weird, campy, and absolutely delightful. The concept and production were headed up by Meco Monardo, who went by the stage name Meco. He produced a string of sci-fi-inspired disco albums including Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk. This holiday album features the voice talents of Anthony Daniels as C-3PO. Academy Award-winning sound designer, and a staple of Lucasfilm, Ben Burtt did the sound effects for R2-D2 and Chewbacca. The songs were written by Yale music professor Maury Yeston. Ralph McQuarrie, who did the original concept art for Star Wars, did the cover art. It also featured a then-unknown singer who would go on to do big things.
“Christmas In The Stars”
The album opens with the track “Christmas in the Stars”. There are bells and chimes ringing and C-3PO says, “Oh my stars! I’ve never been so busy before. It seems Christmas arrives sooner each year.” This song sets up the premise of the album. 3PO, R2, and Chewbacca are helping a group of droids make Christmas presents. It’s a bouncy, catchy tune with C-3PO taking lead vocals assisted by R2 and the droid choir. At the end of the song, R2 asks 3PO, “What are bells?”
RELATED:
“Bells, Bells, Bells”
This is where the weirdness really kicks in. C-3PO teaches R2 what bells are. 3PO uses all kinds of Earth references in his explanation like Einstein, H. G. Wells, and Japan. How could R2 possibly know any of those? R2 lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. (Of course, that also makes the whole premise suspect since the impression given is that Star Wars happens before the birth of Jesus.) No matter how weird, it’s a catchy tune.
“The Odds Against Christmas”
3PO is back on the lead vocals in the third track. On the surface, this is a song about probability, which is only fitting because 3PO likes to give odds any chance he gets. The chorus is, “The odds against Christmas being Christmas are 365 to 1.” That is a little ambiguous as it could refer to the odds of Christmas being on December 25th or the odds of Christmas existing at all.
The next line clears that up, though, “Christmas, you see, could have easily never ever begun.” The oddest thing about this song is it contains the line, “[The odds against Christmas being Christmas] are so very large that all other odds seem terribly, terribly small.” Then, less than a minute after that, 3PO tells us that the odds of adding another month to the calendar are 92,000,000 to 3. It’s still charming despite the inconsistencies.
“What Can You Get a Wookie for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)”
This is probably the most famous song on the album. “What Can You Get a Wookie for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)” is an important question since S. Claus gave Chewbacca a comb last year. The droids correctly point out that Wookiees have no need for shaving foam or tie clips. It seems like there are lots of other possibilities, but the droids can’t think of anything other than combs, shaving foam, galoshes, hats, and tie clips. They decide to give him, “Love and understanding, goodwill to man. Wrap it all up in bright colored ribbon and give it to him all over again.” It’s a nice sentiment, but not much of a gift.
“R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas”
It is not a phase vector. In fact, it is R2’s Christmas present. This song features lead vocals by John Bongiovi who would later be known as Jon Bon Jovi. Some of the best technobabble is in this song. It has the aforementioned phase vector, but the quaver converter is just awesome.
Image Source: Fast Company
“Sleigh Ride”
This reworking of “Sleigh Ride” has C-3PO teaching R2 to sing. After all, “It’s the luckiest thing you can do to make your voice sound grand.” R2 makes several tries and improves each time until, at the end of the song, he takes a solo. R2 learned the entire art of singing over the course of a three-and-a-half-minute song. Impressive.
“Merry, Merry Christmas”
“Merry, Merry Christmas” is a short, jaunty song done by the droid choir again. They tell us about the types of presents they are making: a baseball that throws itself, a hammer without a head, a toy robot that goes to sleep, and a costume that makes the wearer invisible. Chewie even tries on a costume and kisses one of the droids. Most importantly, they compute the perfect gift for the Wookiee, a brush.
“A Christmas Sighting”
The eighth track isn’t really a song. C-3PO tells a story about how he saw S. Claus just last year in the exact cadence of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” R2 points out some holes in the story and accuses 3PO of being afraid of Santa. It’s a pleasant little story, but not as much fun as the rest of the album.
“The Meaning Of Christmas”
This is when S. Claus shows up to collect the presents. The droids are confused about S. Claus’ appearance. However, he explains that he is not Santa Claus but Santa’s son. There are far too many children in the galaxy for Santa to do it all on his own. Then, S. Claus sings a song explaining what Christmas is. As 3PO explains, “Christmas is the feeling we get this year when we care for each other.” The happiness that the toys bring to all the children is the droid’s gift. When 3PO is upset that they have to wait a whole year for Christmas to come around again, S. Claus discusses how he looks forward to a time when Christmas is celebrated all year. The song and album end on a fanfare reminiscent of John Williams’ famous score.
Christmas in the Stars is one of the most fun things to listen to at Christmas time. Young people may not appreciate the nostalgia, but everyone can get behind the campy silliness. It’s a holiday tradition like no other.
READ NEXT:
Source(s): StarWars.com, Wookieepedia
Latest News
Featured
