What if Batman Is Just A Rich Guy Playing With His Friends?
Batman has long struck me as less believable than any other superhero, but not for the reasons you might expect. It's not the fabulous wealth or gadgets or anything like that. It's that he's the "world's greatest detective" but has a lot of difficulty stopping mental patients who leave obvious clues at every crime scene. He is world class in every martial art, but his arch nemesis is a clown (literally) with no special skills to speak of. It all reads more as a rich person playing hero than the real thing.
Look at Batman's top villains: The Joker, The Riddler, Catwoman, Penguin, Two-face, Bane, Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, and Hugo Strange. The only ones of these villains having any powers, Poison Ivy and, sort of, Bane. The rest are psychiatrists, psychiatric patients, scientists, mobsters, and a cat burglar. Outside of the Wonder Twins, it would take any of DC's other heroes ten or fifteen minutes to get Gotham squeaky clean.
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Some may counter that it's not about the powers or prowess of the villains. Gotham is systemically corrupt. That is Batman's true enemy; the environment that allows the Rogue's Gallery to thrive. This is where Batman's alter ego becomes a problem. If it is the corruption that is Batman's true enemy, no one is better able to fight the problem than celebrity billionaire Bruce Wayne. He is completely wasting his time as Batman and ought to remove the problem at its root. But what fun would that be, right?
And that, fun, is exactly the point. A billionaire businessman working with government to fight corruption in city-hall and the police department would be boring, tedious work. There's no thrill or adventure involved. Batman is not actually trying to clean up Gotham City. It's a game, and not just to him. The Caped Crusader isn't a costumed vigilante as much as a cosplay fanboy. The Rogue's Gallery is a bunch of his buddies and they're all having a great time.
Think about it. It explains how the many versions of Batman fit together. The Batman movies of the past twenty years have been from the point of view of the players. That's why it's so dark and angsty. It's an adolescent fantasy. Batman '66 is from the point of view of everyone else. The game must appear absurd to any normals who happen to witness it. The game wouldn't be fun for the players as a comedy even though that's the only way it can make sense to anyone else.
This even explains why the bat-villains are who they are. It makes the game more fun. Bruce Wayne wants to be a "plausible" hero. He wants to be the kind of hero he could, as a fabulously wealthy heir, will be an unpowered hero who relies on training and gadgets. That's what money can get you. So, his enemies need to match in such a way that he can be the hero. If they were powered, most of Batman's gadgets would be useless. And most of the villains rely on gadgets as well. The exceptions still work. Poison Ivy controls plants, but they are always in the relatively plant-free city. And Bane is strong. That's awfully vague. It makes their game a game of wits. Any good game needs to have the participants on relatively equal footing.
This is the only way I can makes sense of Batman. The only "real" thing about him is his wealth. The rest is fancy LARPing. It explains the quantity and quality of his enemies. And it explains why there are never any actual consequences for those enemies when they're caught. I'm actually pretty jealous of Bruce Wayne. I'll bet the game is loads of fun. If only I had the resources to play.
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