6 Stephen King Movies That Should Have Stayed In The Can
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There have been many iconic movies that began life as Stephen King novels. The Shining, The Shawshank Redemption, Stand by Me, the list goes on. His haunting atmospheric style and rich envisionings of middle America have turned into epic feature films…...but these six crashed and burned.
Thinner (1996)
The movie was penned by Tom Holland (no, not that Tom Holland), the writer of Child’s Play. It should have been a home run. The story is simple, an overweight attorney is cursed by a gypsy to waste away to nothing, e.g., become thinner. It’s not just that this doesn’t translate onto the big screen (it doesn’t), but that this movie does its best to make everyone cringe. It lurches from awkward stereotype to awkward stereotype and, as a result, scores a paltry 14% on Rotten Tomatoes.
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The Mangler (1995)
This project not only managed to land Tobe Hooper, the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist but Robert Englund as well. He is best known for playing Freddy Kruger in Nightmare on Elm Street. That’s enough to excite any horror fan without adding Stephen King’s name to the mix. Imagine what this team could have done with Bag of Bones or 1408. We can only dream. The premise of The Mangler….are you ready for this…is a possessed industrial laundry press. No, we’re not joking. The plot is basically Little Shop of Horrors, take away the songs, add detergent. This film spawned two sequels. No one is really sure how that happened.
The Dark Tower (2017)
This was always going to be challenging to adapt. After all, the Dark Tower Series is fourteen books, and each is a chunk. If you need to prop up a desk, Book 7 will do you a solid. First, there were some production problems, and then the movie was released to bad reviews from critics and fans. Sony Pictures attempted to squeeze the entire series into ninety-five minutes and wondered why they were accused of stripping all the character and color out of the source material. There is no resemblance to the original. Check out Doctor Sleep instead if you are looking for a good recent Stephen King movie.
The Dreamcatcher (2003)
There were just two years between the book’s release and the movie. The book was a huge seller, and the timescale gives the impression that it was optioned quickly without anyone checking how it might adapt. Several key plot points do not translate well on film. For example, the main characters can telepathically talk to each other. And they are shut in a cabin for most of the book. And then there’s the matter of Duddits. As a book, it’s a psychological horror with a slow build and a twist ending. As a movie, it’s long (2 hours 16 minutes), slow and tedious.
Pet Sematary (1989)
This will cause controversy because there is a lot of love for this film in some cult movie circles. But the eighties did not have the special effects capabilities to do this story justice. From working with the animals (the zombie cat is super cute) to the special effects makeup, it needed the reboot to increase the scare factor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TbBjf1lgjM
The Lawnmower Man (1992)
This film was billed as a Stephen King adaption but bore no resemblance to the actual short story on which it is based. There is not a whiff of a computer in the original, no modems, no mainframes, nothing. Instead, it’s about a man who cuts grass with his teeth. Stephen King sued to remove his name from the advertising, but it still exists on the credits. Its cutting-edge visual effects earned the film praise when it was released, but its bizarre storyline slowed it down.
If you are looking for a horror movie, go with the classics. It, Misery, or The Green Mile have stood the test of time for a reason. Unfortunately, Stephen King adaptations are a minefield, so take care before you press play!
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